Bernard Socks on Poetry

Bernard Socks on Poetry

1. Bernard Socks Responds to Criticism

I’m lying on his side of the bed

All day long

I’m deliberately shedding hair

And licking my asshole

Absolutely furious

Jeremy didn’t like my last poem

‘As much’ he said

‘As your previous work.’

Well

Let it piss down

All day

Let it piss down on him

Smoking outside

What does he know anyway

About cat poems?

2. Bernard Socks Reflects on Form and Content

What I’m saying

At the end of the day

Is that I’m a cat

And I guess that’s the stuff I write about

It’s gonna reflect

Cat-type concerns

Catty kind of stuff

And you might think my world is narrow

(I think it’s huge)

And you might think

It doesn’t touch on wider themes

(It does)

And you might think my appreciation of

Poetic form, rhythm, metre, etc

Is rudimentary

(Ha!)

But this is what you get

When you ask

The cat what he thinks

3. Bernard Socks on Editing

Revising poems

Is a bit like chewing your feet

Teasing gravel chunks

From between your toes

Licking all your fur down

So it lies smartly

Smarming in the cat spit

And chewing on your nipples

You have to check every line

Taste it

Give them a careful niff niff niff

Seeing that they sit straight

Do they lie sleekly in the same direction?

Can you twist your neck around

And lick

That bothersome idea

Perfectly into shape?

Cats like being succinct

They don’t hang around

Say what you’ve gotta say

See you later, losers.

4. Bernard Socks at the Open Mic

“I’m not sure if this will work in performance

Me being more of a language poet

And all

But

Here goes:

“Weeeeee-

ooooooooo

Weeeeeeeee-

OOOO

OO                                    OOOOO

RRrrrr  rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Rrr

MOW

MOW

MOW

MOW

Ungow!

Weee

ee-oooo

MOW

MOW

MOW

Rrrrrr.”

5. Bernard Socks on Humankind

Sleepy cat

Are humans daft?

Yeah, humans are daft

All right

Humans are crazy.